A Feeling

In all those stolen glances, our eyes still manage to meet,
In all those words spoken, there is still so much that is unspoken.
In spite of your presence, there is still that absence.
In all those dreams, you live in my realms,
In all these words, there is jus one thing that I express
And it’s nothing but just “a feeling”,
A feeling of being together and with one another.

The day I Quit Life

“STOP!!!” “Wait until you hear me completely. Don’t draw conclusions” I yelled as she turned her back towards me and started to walk away.

Fights between us were soon becoming the order of the day. We were beginning to realize that we had some serious differences and we could no longer breathe down each other’s incompatibilities. On most occasions it was she, who would have the final say and though I didn’t quite approve of it, I still accepted it as I knew I still loved her.

But today, things were different. There is always a point beyond which any person will react. And today was one of those days. It was one of those moments, where a small issue got blown out of proportion, and then one thing led to the other and I felt I have had enough of this. Even before I could realize what I told her, it was way too late. I had just told her something, which she would have never really expected me to say.

As she pushed me aside and started walking away in a hurry, I saw she left a trail of tears behind her. “Damn!!!” I kicked my leg hard. It was an insane moment. And then in my moment of insanity came the deadliest of thoughts which was then going to change my life forever. I looked around, and I instantly found what was just the perfect execution plan.

As I began to climb the steps my feet began to tremble, I was getting shaky. I wondered what people would speak of me tomorrow. What would be the headlines in the paper tomorrow? Would this area get cornered after this?” I very soon reached the topmost area and never realized I managed to climb the high rise as I was so engrossed in my train of thoughts.

True. Suicide it was. One easy way to put things to logical conclusion. Logical? Yes. After all that what I had told her today, there was never really a hope of reconciliation between the two of us. And I simply didn’t want to live a life without her.

I was always scared of heights, but still i wondered why of all the things, I had chosen to jump off this high rise? Again, it was my love towards to her. For she always kept telling me that someday we ll hold each other’s hand and jump off a cliff if we cannot get married to each other.

I looked down trying to fathom the depth. I saw a dark spot in my eye and it was the fear that was turning me blind. They say you need courage to commit suicide. And I never before had suicidal tendency. But then this was not suicide. It was my love that had come crashing, and so my life.

I tried to push myself ahead and leap to death, but somehow the fear of falling was stronger than the compelling thought to end it. It is any human’s natural instinct to protect oneself. I lifted my right leg and put it ahead of me hoping the imbalance would make me stumble to death. But then again I was conscious of my fall.

I tured around, like a coward. I sure deserved a cowards death. And this I felt was more easy. I took a few strides forward, and then closed my eyes tight and began to walk backwards.

Did I just hear her scream out my name???

It was late, I screamed out in fear. I was fast heading down and I could hear her scream loud in fear. The last I remembered was a thumbing sound and my body went cold.

YES!!!! I finally managed to put our fights to end. I had eventually conquered my fear of heights and taken a dive into the pool. I proved to her, if not as good as her, I too can dive. And at last put an end to her nagging.

As I stepped out the pool, she came running towards me gave me a tight hug. It was the most daring thing I had done in my life ever. But then it was all for the one whom I loved.

Happy Birthday Elephant

If someone ever asks me what is a definition of a true friend?

My Answer would always be “You”

If someone ever asks me how a good friend must be?

My Answer would always be “You”

If someone ever asks me what is like to have the best, and still not have it?

My Answer would be ask “Us”

Today happens to be the day my friend celebrates her Birthday.

And so here is wishing my little fat elephant many many happy returns of the day.

I have no doubt this year would be one of the most beautiful years of your life.

Perfect Birthday Gift (Concluding Part)

Click to Read Part 1

She walked up the stairs, not sure how this was all going to unfold. She was trying hard not to reflect and keep her feet grounded. His room door was ajar. She slowly opened the door and there he was engrossed in something in front of his laptop. She looked hard at him, and nothing about him had changed. He still looked the same. She was all overjoyed on seeing him. She wondered if she should call out his name or jus' hug him from behind and give him a surprise.

But time does change things, and three years sure is a long time. Though they lived and shared everything between them three years back, the distance over the years sure had brought in discomfort within her and so she decided to take things in a more ceremonial way. She cleared her throat hoping to make him turn. But he seemed to be totally deaf to her sound. She walked closer to him and, “Rahul?”

His head turned instantly, and he looked confused for a moment. They were both frozen in that moment. Hoping he would say something, she kept waiting, but having known him and trying to ease the situation she wished him “Happy Birthday Rahul!!!”

He still seemed lost, he asked her in a very timid voice, “Where is my birthday gift?” She was taken aback for a moment. All these years and this for sure was not something that she was expecting to hear from him. But she decided to play on, after all they were no strangers. She very artfully asked him what he wanted.

“I want something very special, which no one else has given me.”

She thought for a while, then grinned. She slowly leaned towards to him and gave me a warm peck on his cheeks. His face instantly turned red. He was all blushing.
Trying hard to look into her eyes he in a very demure voice thanked her.

She felt a little odd the way things were. Rahul was acting very strange. He didn’t show half the excitement or interest she had. She on various occasions during their conversations tried to talk him into about their past, but he sounded ignorant of all the focuses and was least unapologetic in his behavior.

Her excitement was beginning to die, and she was beginning to regret at her decision of having chosen to come back after all these years. Rahul had sure moved on, and it was very obvious in all his actions.

Knowing her presence there was of no significance and trying to clear the air around them, trying to end her agony she asked Rahul if he had nothing to ask or tell her after all these years. She drew a blank response from him. Growing impatient and deeply disappointed at his abrasive demeanor she asked him “I think I should leave?.”

“Okay, Byee...”

No sooner did he complete his phrase, she walked out slamming the door hard at him. And ran down the stairs with tears rolling fast from her eyes. Rahul’s mom on sensing something was wrong, ran towards the door and asked her what was wrong.
“Your son will never change!!! I feel sorry that I fell in love with your son. I wish I hadn’t come here today. Atleast I would ve lived with the thought that he still loved me.”

After couple of days,
Simran’s phone kept ringing repeatedly. But seeing it was Rahul’s mother, she refused to attend the calls. The following day, Simran was surprised to find Rahul’s mom at her door step. Even before Simran could say something,
“Thank you Simran for having come down at my request. This was the best birthday gift I could ve given him. He loved nothing and wanted nothing, other than you, all his life. I am happy at least on his last birthday I could give him a perfect birthday present. Rahul was suffering from Alzheimer's. I thought you would want to see him one last time yesterday.”

She placed her hands on Simran's shoulder and the next minute She silently turned around and walked away.


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The Day I Met Her

Perfect Bday Gift (Part 1)

It was just 6 am in the morning, and she hadn’t slept the previous nite. They had a big fight last nite and as always they spent the whole nite fighting over the phone and that had kept her awake all nite. Being the rude guy that he was, he had switched off his phone and repeated attempts to contact him were all in vain. And being the loving and affectionate girl that she was, she could not sleep. It was a long nite for her. What made her feel bad was that it has his birthday today and things just didn turn out the way she planned. She had planned lot of surprises for him and somehow everything backfired. She kept trying his number till dawn.

At 6am her phone rings, she in all excitement picks the phone and is all delighted to see a call from him. She was sure annoyed at him, but the selfless love she had towards him made her attend the call. Having stayed awake the whole nite in a very weary voice she managed to tell “Hi Rahul!!!”

And then when she heard what Rahul had to tell her, she first shook her head in disbelief, and didn believe him. Then as she kept speaking to him, she slowly came towards the window, moved the window curtain of her room to get a view outside, and yes Rahul was rite there at the gate waiting there with a bouquet in his hand. Tulips they were, her favorite flower, the very sight of which brightened her day. She shook her head, but she knew he was crazy and could go any extent to make her happy. Sometimes she wondered why they fight so much when they loved each other so much.

She walked towards the gate to meet him, and the moment he saw her, he ran towards her and even before she could say something he was down on his knees, looking deep in her eyes with a promise, and his hands stretched towards her. This was the day he had proposed her marriage. And the day she had agreed. They dreamt of a life together.

“Madam!!!, Do I go straight???” asked the cab driver. It has been 3 long years since she last travelled this road, but she still remembered the way to his house. In her pleasant voice she said “Yes, straight.”

It still appeared like it had all transpired yesterday. As the cab driver kept paddling his way through the slow moving traffic, she was all engrossed in her thoughts.

It was just last month Rahul’s mother had called her and informed her, that she wanted to meet her. Somehow Simran was hesitant. It was the same family that was against their marriage and now after all these years why were they keen on meeting on her? She had managed to get away that day by coming up with an excuse and managed to put it off very courteously. But Rahul’s mother kept calling her every day, and there was some intensity in her voice. Being the sympathetic girl that Simran was, she could not for long say a no to someone who was of her mother’s age. She finally agreed. But Rahul’s mother did say that she was planning a surprise for Rahul and Rahul wasn’t aware of her visit.

As the cab turned left and pulled to the corner to stop, she got down. She mulled over what it could be all about. As she started to walk, there was anticipation and excitement that began to brew within her. There was a smile on her face, a smile that was long lost.

She rang the door bell, hoping Rahul would come and greet her and seeing her he would hug her tight and say a sorry for having let her down, for having left her stranded mid-way through her life.

Rahul’s mother opened the door and welcomed Simran home. Simran knew that Rahul’s mother liked her and it was just circumstances that had forced them to depart. Simran was happy to be along with his mother who walked her into their house. As Simran was sitting and sipping through her coffee, she was getting restless.

“I knew you would come. That’s why I kept trying, for somehow I always knew that the two of you truly loved each other “, said Rahul’s mother.

Rahul’s mother enquired about Simran and what she was upto these days, and why she chose to not marry all these years?

“I wanted to learn to live life independently and I was all eager to complete my higher studies. So that’s kept me busy all this while. Marriage has never been on mind aunty.”

“Rahul!!!, haven’t you ever thought of him in the last 3 years???”

Simran just smiled.

“Rahul has never been the same without you. Ever since the two of you parted he has been living a very lonely life, keeps very much to himself, stay away from social life. I sometimes envy you Simran, the 5 years that you spent with him, you ve managed to love him more than what I ve loved him for the last 27 years. You mean the world to him. Though he lives for me, he has always been yours.”

Simran’s eyes on hearing this were wet.

“Don’t you want to meet him? I am sure the best gift I can give on his birthday is returning his only love to him.”

Concluding Part