Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Feeling

In all those stolen glances, our eyes still manage to meet,
In all those words spoken, there is still so much that is unspoken.
In spite of your presence, there is still that absence.
In all those dreams, you live in my realms,
In all these words, there is jus one thing that I express
And it’s nothing but just “a feeling”,
A feeling of being together and with one another.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The day I Quit Life

“STOP!!!” “Wait until you hear me completely. Don’t draw conclusions” I yelled as she turned her back towards me and started to walk away.

Fights between us were soon becoming the order of the day. We were beginning to realize that we had some serious differences and we could no longer breathe down each other’s incompatibilities. On most occasions it was she, who would have the final say and though I didn’t quite approve of it, I still accepted it as I knew I still loved her.

But today, things were different. There is always a point beyond which any person will react. And today was one of those days. It was one of those moments, where a small issue got blown out of proportion, and then one thing led to the other and I felt I have had enough of this. Even before I could realize what I told her, it was way too late. I had just told her something, which she would have never really expected me to say.

As she pushed me aside and started walking away in a hurry, I saw she left a trail of tears behind her. “Damn!!!” I kicked my leg hard. It was an insane moment. And then in my moment of insanity came the deadliest of thoughts which was then going to change my life forever. I looked around, and I instantly found what was just the perfect execution plan.

As I began to climb the steps my feet began to tremble, I was getting shaky. I wondered what people would speak of me tomorrow. What would be the headlines in the paper tomorrow? Would this area get cornered after this?” I very soon reached the topmost area and never realized I managed to climb the high rise as I was so engrossed in my train of thoughts.

True. Suicide it was. One easy way to put things to logical conclusion. Logical? Yes. After all that what I had told her today, there was never really a hope of reconciliation between the two of us. And I simply didn’t want to live a life without her.

I was always scared of heights, but still i wondered why of all the things, I had chosen to jump off this high rise? Again, it was my love towards to her. For she always kept telling me that someday we ll hold each other’s hand and jump off a cliff if we cannot get married to each other.

I looked down trying to fathom the depth. I saw a dark spot in my eye and it was the fear that was turning me blind. They say you need courage to commit suicide. And I never before had suicidal tendency. But then this was not suicide. It was my love that had come crashing, and so my life.

I tried to push myself ahead and leap to death, but somehow the fear of falling was stronger than the compelling thought to end it. It is any human’s natural instinct to protect oneself. I lifted my right leg and put it ahead of me hoping the imbalance would make me stumble to death. But then again I was conscious of my fall.

I tured around, like a coward. I sure deserved a cowards death. And this I felt was more easy. I took a few strides forward, and then closed my eyes tight and began to walk backwards.

Did I just hear her scream out my name???

It was late, I screamed out in fear. I was fast heading down and I could hear her scream loud in fear. The last I remembered was a thumbing sound and my body went cold.

YES!!!! I finally managed to put our fights to end. I had eventually conquered my fear of heights and taken a dive into the pool. I proved to her, if not as good as her, I too can dive. And at last put an end to her nagging.

As I stepped out the pool, she came running towards me gave me a tight hug. It was the most daring thing I had done in my life ever. But then it was all for the one whom I loved.