Time for me to accept......

Sitting by the window in a crowded bus,
I was all set for a new destination...

Not knowing where I was heading,
I was sure I was only heeding,
Heeding to my thoughts
Which always brought with it droughts...
Droughts of lonliness....

I tried hard not to think about her,
But I had no control over my tots,
Cos my heart was all but her's..
Trying hard to recollect myself,
I knew I was making a futile attempt....

Running away from something, is easy
But might lead into a frenzy...
I leaned against the window,
Staring hard outside at the meadow...

People kept flocking in and out,
And the bus kept moving ahead...
For a moment i was left wondering,
Isn't our life also based on the same learning

People come and go in life,
Some stay a little short, some stay a little rife..
Some people are close to heart,
And some hard to part...
The journey called life keeps moving,
While people keep coming and going....

As i got absorbed into my past,
Tears started to roll fast...
She was not just any other person,
She was my only reason....
A Reason to live....

To me, What life has to offer,
I know time will confer...
But as I lay back and mourn,
It was now my turn...
My turn to un-board, not just from the bus,
But from the bus of my tots...

Unsure where i am heading,
I guess it's time I stop riding,
Riding on the wave of tots...
For life has gifted me some moments,
Which I know no one can torment..

As i learn to live with just her memories..
Its about time my I break my eyries...
Its about time i accept the fact,
That she is no longer a part of my act..

-fzl

To you, i owe....

I see her everyday, but still there are lot of things about her that I don't notice.
I speak to her everyday, but I never tell her how much i Love her.
I listen to her everyday, but half the time I am lost in my own world.

I take her for granted, still she continues to love me .
She continues to love me more by each passing day....
I scream at her when I am angry,
But seldom do things that make her happy...

I try to bring constant changes into my life, she always adjusts...
And one small request from her, I sternly desist....

Inspite of all the differences we share...

Looking back, over the years we ve been together,
It's hard to even imagine a day without her...
And I am sure it must be the same with her as well.
And it's not just with her, I am sure that will be the same with all "Mothers"...
May be that's why we all love our "Mom's" so much....



May be that's why as kids, the FIRST sensible word that we all say is "Mom" (The way we address her might be different depending on the region/religion/lang)
May be that's why in time of pain and anguish, that word that comes outta our mouth is "Mom"

There have been blogs that I have dedicated to my friends, to my love, to my manager, to my team mates, and to many more...
And as always I have never dedicated something to that one person, because of whom, I am what I am today....

So this blog is dedicated to "MY Mother" dear. Without her even my blog would be incomplete.

There are no words to thank you, there are no actions that will compliment your selfless love your ve showered me all my life.. There is nothing in this world that can be compared to you....

"I love myself, because you loved me first"
Love you Mom...............

Year 2008, Rewind

As the year 2008 makes its place into our memories and as we all enter the new year hoping for a better year ahead, I look back into the year.....

I am happy cos...
I got two international trips this year.. first a one month long vacation at Dubai with my sister and later a 3 month long business trip to Europe. Both have been very memorable esp Dubai being my maiden Voyage.

Alhamdulillah, I still hold a job for myself even during the time of global recession. It's this job that gives me the luxury of sitting at home at peace and blog.

I bought myself a car :) hehe... After eating up into all my savings so far :( which actually is bad i know. Most might say why does fazal need a car? Ya..I too think the same now..

I am sorry....
I missed my friends wedding. It was always something that I wanted to attend, but things so happened that I was no where even near during that time. Now some of you reading this might be wondering who is this dear friend of mine??? :) Dont worry,I am not gonna say it here ;) But i am sure that person will read this blog.. So hear is a "BIG SORRY" to you..... I dont know how many times i ve have told you a sorry before this..

I am sad...
I lost/broke my dear cell. My first ever cell that i had bought from my hard earned money. Now i now many will not agree its hard earned. After all its not that hard to go and sit infront of the computer all day :) But people, ask a person who does this and you will know how hard it is.. Not just the cell, i lost all my contacts, I lost all the messages in it, I lost a good part of my life with it.... And in the end ended up buying a new cell at a time when i was facing a cash crunch.

What I missed...
On a lighter side, As always I missed out again on lotta pretty ones like every year :) somehow the the miss rate of missing all the "miss's" has been very high ;)

A good appraisal inspite of having got a 5 on 5 rating. It was no my fault that my appraisal fell during the economic recession. Was it not for the timing, I would sure have been an overpaid techie ;)

What i learnt.....
Thanks to my stay in Austria, I learnt how to cook :) YES!!! I can cook, be it veg, non-veg, rice, noodles or chappatis, I can now cook food which is edible and at times tasty :)

What i lost and re-gained....
Haha.. No doubt, weight :) After having shed some very serious weight after a 3 month long stay away from home, now i am back to sqaure one. That reminds me i have to add one more point to the section what i learnt.. Staying away from home is the best way to lose weight atleast for guys like me who have great respect for food, by making sure not to waste food :)

What surprised me..
I have 3 followers for my blog :) Outta the blue.. Makes me happy...

Lastly what i hate and hope will no longer happen....
I really hate all you readers who read my blog and leave no comments. Plzzzzz... leave comments :) I love hearing from you ;) I am not hear to just speak.. I am hear to hear from all you folks....

I miss you.....

I first held her hand, I was In love..
She looked at me surprised...
I looked into her eyes and gave her a reassurance, she smiled, her eyes moist....
Time passes by....

I hold her hand with a firm grip, we were in love,
She smiled her heart away...
I kept speaking, and she kept smiling......
I kept silent, she understood and she made me smile.......
Time passes by....

I hold her hand tight now, I fear I will loose her...
She looks at me and smiles....
I dont know what to tell her, but she looks at me and smiles, I know she understands....
Time passes by...

I let go the warmth of her hand, I know I will never be the same again...
She looks at me and smiles...
I said nothing, but just looked into her eyes with a broken promise, she smiled, but this time with tears rolling.....
Time passes by....

I look at my hand, I realize I have nothing in there...
I look at myself and smile....
I have nothing more to say in life... Cos I never said anything when you really wanted me to speak.....

"I miss you......... "

-fzl