Happy Birthday to you.....

It's been a long long time since I last blogged, and though I have always wanted to get regular with this, I have always kept procrastinating it. But what better day than today, the first of April.

A day when the world around is celebrating the "fool in us".

April it is, when I renew my interest in my blog. April has always been a special month for me....

There is another reason which brings to me this blog today :)

Anonymous...

I have lost every single thing that I have loved in life. And now I have begun to love myself alone.

-Anonymous

A Poem.. Alfred Lord Tennyson

Remembered this today suddenly and it had to find a place on my blog.

Home they brought her warrior dead:

She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:

All her maidens, watching, said,

'She must weep or she will die.'

Then they praised him, soft and low,

Called him worthy to be loved,

Truest friend and noblest foe;

Yet she neither spoke nor moved.

Stole a maiden from her place,

Lightly to the warrior stepped,

Took the face-cloth from the face;

Yet she neither moved nor wept.

Rose a nurse of ninety years,

Set his child upon her knee--

Like summer tempest came her tears--

'Sweet my child, I live for thee.'

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

A Feeling

In all those stolen glances, our eyes still manage to meet,
In all those words spoken, there is still so much that is unspoken.
In spite of your presence, there is still that absence.
In all those dreams, you live in my realms,
In all these words, there is jus one thing that I express
And it’s nothing but just “a feeling”,
A feeling of being together and with one another.

The day I Quit Life

“STOP!!!” “Wait until you hear me completely. Don’t draw conclusions” I yelled as she turned her back towards me and started to walk away.

Fights between us were soon becoming the order of the day. We were beginning to realize that we had some serious differences and we could no longer breathe down each other’s incompatibilities. On most occasions it was she, who would have the final say and though I didn’t quite approve of it, I still accepted it as I knew I still loved her.

But today, things were different. There is always a point beyond which any person will react. And today was one of those days. It was one of those moments, where a small issue got blown out of proportion, and then one thing led to the other and I felt I have had enough of this. Even before I could realize what I told her, it was way too late. I had just told her something, which she would have never really expected me to say.

As she pushed me aside and started walking away in a hurry, I saw she left a trail of tears behind her. “Damn!!!” I kicked my leg hard. It was an insane moment. And then in my moment of insanity came the deadliest of thoughts which was then going to change my life forever. I looked around, and I instantly found what was just the perfect execution plan.

As I began to climb the steps my feet began to tremble, I was getting shaky. I wondered what people would speak of me tomorrow. What would be the headlines in the paper tomorrow? Would this area get cornered after this?” I very soon reached the topmost area and never realized I managed to climb the high rise as I was so engrossed in my train of thoughts.

True. Suicide it was. One easy way to put things to logical conclusion. Logical? Yes. After all that what I had told her today, there was never really a hope of reconciliation between the two of us. And I simply didn’t want to live a life without her.

I was always scared of heights, but still i wondered why of all the things, I had chosen to jump off this high rise? Again, it was my love towards to her. For she always kept telling me that someday we ll hold each other’s hand and jump off a cliff if we cannot get married to each other.

I looked down trying to fathom the depth. I saw a dark spot in my eye and it was the fear that was turning me blind. They say you need courage to commit suicide. And I never before had suicidal tendency. But then this was not suicide. It was my love that had come crashing, and so my life.

I tried to push myself ahead and leap to death, but somehow the fear of falling was stronger than the compelling thought to end it. It is any human’s natural instinct to protect oneself. I lifted my right leg and put it ahead of me hoping the imbalance would make me stumble to death. But then again I was conscious of my fall.

I tured around, like a coward. I sure deserved a cowards death. And this I felt was more easy. I took a few strides forward, and then closed my eyes tight and began to walk backwards.

Did I just hear her scream out my name???

It was late, I screamed out in fear. I was fast heading down and I could hear her scream loud in fear. The last I remembered was a thumbing sound and my body went cold.

YES!!!! I finally managed to put our fights to end. I had eventually conquered my fear of heights and taken a dive into the pool. I proved to her, if not as good as her, I too can dive. And at last put an end to her nagging.

As I stepped out the pool, she came running towards me gave me a tight hug. It was the most daring thing I had done in my life ever. But then it was all for the one whom I loved.

Happy Birthday Elephant

If someone ever asks me what is a definition of a true friend?

My Answer would always be “You”

If someone ever asks me how a good friend must be?

My Answer would always be “You”

If someone ever asks me what is like to have the best, and still not have it?

My Answer would be ask “Us”

Today happens to be the day my friend celebrates her Birthday.

And so here is wishing my little fat elephant many many happy returns of the day.

I have no doubt this year would be one of the most beautiful years of your life.

Perfect Birthday Gift (Concluding Part)

Click to Read Part 1

She walked up the stairs, not sure how this was all going to unfold. She was trying hard not to reflect and keep her feet grounded. His room door was ajar. She slowly opened the door and there he was engrossed in something in front of his laptop. She looked hard at him, and nothing about him had changed. He still looked the same. She was all overjoyed on seeing him. She wondered if she should call out his name or jus' hug him from behind and give him a surprise.

But time does change things, and three years sure is a long time. Though they lived and shared everything between them three years back, the distance over the years sure had brought in discomfort within her and so she decided to take things in a more ceremonial way. She cleared her throat hoping to make him turn. But he seemed to be totally deaf to her sound. She walked closer to him and, “Rahul?”

His head turned instantly, and he looked confused for a moment. They were both frozen in that moment. Hoping he would say something, she kept waiting, but having known him and trying to ease the situation she wished him “Happy Birthday Rahul!!!”

He still seemed lost, he asked her in a very timid voice, “Where is my birthday gift?” She was taken aback for a moment. All these years and this for sure was not something that she was expecting to hear from him. But she decided to play on, after all they were no strangers. She very artfully asked him what he wanted.

“I want something very special, which no one else has given me.”

She thought for a while, then grinned. She slowly leaned towards to him and gave me a warm peck on his cheeks. His face instantly turned red. He was all blushing.
Trying hard to look into her eyes he in a very demure voice thanked her.

She felt a little odd the way things were. Rahul was acting very strange. He didn’t show half the excitement or interest she had. She on various occasions during their conversations tried to talk him into about their past, but he sounded ignorant of all the focuses and was least unapologetic in his behavior.

Her excitement was beginning to die, and she was beginning to regret at her decision of having chosen to come back after all these years. Rahul had sure moved on, and it was very obvious in all his actions.

Knowing her presence there was of no significance and trying to clear the air around them, trying to end her agony she asked Rahul if he had nothing to ask or tell her after all these years. She drew a blank response from him. Growing impatient and deeply disappointed at his abrasive demeanor she asked him “I think I should leave?.”

“Okay, Byee...”

No sooner did he complete his phrase, she walked out slamming the door hard at him. And ran down the stairs with tears rolling fast from her eyes. Rahul’s mom on sensing something was wrong, ran towards the door and asked her what was wrong.
“Your son will never change!!! I feel sorry that I fell in love with your son. I wish I hadn’t come here today. Atleast I would ve lived with the thought that he still loved me.”

After couple of days,
Simran’s phone kept ringing repeatedly. But seeing it was Rahul’s mother, she refused to attend the calls. The following day, Simran was surprised to find Rahul’s mom at her door step. Even before Simran could say something,
“Thank you Simran for having come down at my request. This was the best birthday gift I could ve given him. He loved nothing and wanted nothing, other than you, all his life. I am happy at least on his last birthday I could give him a perfect birthday present. Rahul was suffering from Alzheimer's. I thought you would want to see him one last time yesterday.”

She placed her hands on Simran's shoulder and the next minute She silently turned around and walked away.


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