Happy Birthday Fazluu....

Happy Birthday Fazlu....

And as the clock strikes 00:00:00hrs I turn 30 today!!!! And here I am sitting with my laptop blogging. Sure must be one of a birthday celebration. Sitting in front of system  all day.

Fazlu? Nope, it’s not a new family of Aalu (the Hindi word for Potato) though physically I might have some resemblance to that vegetable. Nor is it any telugu word. Yes add 'alu' to most words and you are already speaking Telugu.
Then you must be wondering what is this 'Fazlu'?
That's how one of my distant uncle had jus' couple of days back addressed me when I had greeted him on his birthday. And I somehow liked the way it sounded when he said that...

So, that’s one long innings. When I turned 20 from 19 a decade ago it was a great feeling. Today when I turn 30 from 29, I suddenly feel old.  Every morning when I stand in front of the mirror jus’ before leaving for office, all the grey hair strands remind me I am fast aging. Not to forget my ever so fast receding hair line which adds may be another couple of virtual years to my actual age. So much for looks.

So what about life?

As a son?

People often get better with age, but I guess it’s been the opposite with me. The best example was when jus’ the other day during one of the conversations, mom told me that, She was a lot happier when I was a kid! I used to be every moms’ envy.  She didn’t have to worry about me. But these days I cause her more anxiety and pain and she is always worried. To the extent that she is simply scared to leave me alone these days. For someone who has lived a good portion of her life for me, when you see her in tears and you know you re the reason behind it that’s when you regret the 30 long years you’ve lived.

As a brother?

Another pillar of my strength, my sister! The one person I run to every time I need something. The only person on my chat list these days. If even I can be half as good as she is with me, I would be the world’s best brother. And that’s a title I will never even come close to.

Being that special someone?

This is one part of my life which I wouldn’t even want to get into now. Probably, one of the biggest failures of my life. I ve failed miserably. I always felt and was told I would always make a good partner. Not until I realized how bad I can be and how suffocated someone could be in my presence.  Let me not even get there! This is when I am happy for all those people who for whatever reasons were not able to be part of my life.  I am so glad they are at least leading a better life.

As a professional?

Minus the last couple of years, I ve probably had a great stint at my career. Not sure but for some reason the last couple of years have been very depressing at the career front too.

As a friend?

The people who make me feel good these days are my friends. May be because I am a good listener by nature and can really keep things to myself, My friends pour in with their darkest secrets and tell it all. Often people keep running into me for advices when it comes to relationship issues and career counseling.  I tell them, of all people I am the wrong person considering my every own example of failure. But still they insist. Not sure if what I tell them works for them or do they even follow it, but they always come back to me. Makes me all the more curious because nothing ever worked for me :)
Or it’s jus that they wanted someone to listen to them and I am always there.

These days I feel I should probably take up Professional Counseling as Full time Career. I already enjoy a good client base. But maybe they come to me cos I don’t charge them. The moment I start to charge them, I am sure they ll be super charged to run away from me.

Ummm…..
So that’s 30years of my life achievements in random. No reasons to feel proud and nothing to celebrate.
But of course, I need to thank one and all who have made me what I am today. For all your support and patience. For always being there for me. For standing by me.  Thanks, thanks a ton.You all have shaped my life in one way or the other..

So here’s me wishing myself, a very happy birthday….. Year 2013 April 18

It’s been more than a year since I last posed exclusively in front of a camera or had a pic of mine taken. Just last week I had some snaps taken. So I felt it’s time to upload the latest version of me on this very day.