Cruel Life

She has always been around me for the last year and a half. And since the time my loved one and my best friend made their absence conspicuous in my life, she has been my sole company ever since. Though during my initial days I used to not quite enjoy her company, over a period of time even without my knowledge she became an integral part of me life. I used to hate having to travel with her every day in the morning and in the evening. Sometimes I used to think of excuses to avoid her. But She slowly crept her way into my life. Very soon I started spending quality time with her, not just at office, even once I reach home I would be all hooked to her. I guess I was getting addicted to her, and today was the day I realized yes, I was addicted to her.


This morning I reached early to office, only to learn to my utter shock and dismay that she is critically ill. I was all getting restless. I contacted my family doctor and informed him about her. By now I had known her complete health history and so I was in a good position to answer most of the doctors queries. The doctor asked me to rush her to his clinic. Seeing my all scared and nervous my collegue cum friend offered to join us. We reached the doctors place. And the doctor took her into the consultation room, and all along I was keeping my fingers crossed and praying for the best.

After a while the attendant came and called me into the consultation room, I walked with shaky feet, mentally preparing myself. She was rite there lying on the bed, but she was sleeping, seemed like the doctor had administered anesthesia to her. She looked all dull and pale.

The doctor put his hand on my shoulder and told me with utter sympathy. “Sorry, Fazal!!!!”

I wanted to cry. By this time my friend came by and held me from behind. I didn’t want to give up. I asked the doctor if I can take her anywhere outside, and if there is something that I could do. He shook his head and said, that it’s not possible for anyone to get her back to normal now.

I sat down at the chair with my hands on head, and looked remorsefully at her. Seeing all the wires that were running through her body I felt miserable. I again looked upto the doctor and asked him, now what?

And that’s when the world came crashing down on me. I cried aloud when the doctor broke the news. In a fit of rage I screamed at him asking “WHAT ABOUT ALL MY DATA!!!!”

Yes, now that he had confirmed that he had to reformat my laptop, what about all my data. All my official work, the thousands of official mail that I had archived, all my personal data, what about it?

Today was the day my dear little Dell Latitude E6400 crashed.

The day I Met Her (Conculding Part)

To read Part1 - Click here


I must have rehearsed my lines a hundred times in front of the mirror last nite. But then today the same lines seemed new to me. The excitement within me was growing, and my body was going cold in anxiety. I no longer needed to close my eyes to get a glimpse of her. She was always on my mind; her pretty face was at all times infront of my eyes.

It was time, the time I had been waiting for the last 27 days had finally arrived. And I wanted to live this moment, for I dint want to be sorry the rest of my life for not having told, what I felt about her. I took a deep breath, and for that one final time I rehearsed my lines. Yes, I was ready. Dressed in my best, wearing my favorite perfume I was exuberating with confidence now. Before I could enter her place, I lifted my feet backward and rubbed my shoes against the back of my trousers for that last bit of detail.

I gently leant towards my left trying to peep through the large glass pane to see if she was around. And the moment I found her, I could feel the blood rush through my feet, as if telling me to run away from that place as fast as I could. But no, this time my heart was in control my body, not my mind. I listened to my heart, and gently opened the door and entered her place.
My eyes were affixed on her. She looked even more beautiful this evening. Dressed in bright red, with her hair neatly falling behind her back, she looked like a girl who had just straight walked out of my dreams infront of my eyes. I looked at her, as her hair strands fell over her eyes as she was deeply engraved in her work. I was hoping for the time to freeze, as I had to this date never lived a moment as beautiful as this.

But what you wish is not what you always get in life, no sooner did her hair fall over her eyes, she lifted her head sideways tossing her hair backwards gently, our eyes met. And there was a bright sparkle in her eyes. Our eyes stayed locked at each other for a while, and this time I smiled first. She smiled back with gently dropped her eyes. I just missed my heart beat. Or was it because her heart had started beating for me?
As I started walking towards her, I kept my eyes affixed on her while she kept stealing silent glances. The world around me and the voices around me seemed to be growing faint, and all I could now hear was my heart pounding loud and fast. On a normal day I would ve died of stroke, but today I had a reason to live, and nothing could come my way. She was all that I wanted in life.

There I was right infront of her, with less than an arms distance separating the two, any further and I am sure she would ve heard my heard pounding as well. As she stayed seated, I bent forward to speak to her. She looked up towards me and in her charming voice greeted me. I greeted her back and stretched my arms on her table to lean against the table as our eyes continued to be lost in each other. She smiled in expectation looking deep into my eyes, hoping I would say something. I was awestruck at this beautiful woman in front of my eyes, and I had forgotten all my lines. All I knew was that this is reality, and my dream is on the verge of coming true.

Having given me enough time to speak and seeing my lost, she must have grown impatient. She asked me to take a seat. I sat down infront of her trying to comfort and regain my conscious.
While different thoughts kept racing in my mind trying to find their way out through my voice box, there was one strong though that told me, “Fazal, this is not your cup of tea, better ask her number and lets take thing slowly. This is not the place.” Just as I was about to phrase my sentence, she asked me for my cell number!!!. I thought it was my mind visualizing my phrase in her voice. And instantly I repeated the same line to her. She gave me a shocked reaction, and seeing her reaction my feet went cold.
She smiled this time, nodding her head sideways and told me that she was sorry. She smiled and asked me why don’t I give her my number. Like the most obedient person in the world, I gave her my number. And every time our eyes met, I stammered and at one stage I forgot my own number.

I was beginning to feel the heat and my sweat glands began to pour. She must have felt the heat too, as now I found her hands trembling as she was keying in my number. Her voice trembled as she asked me for my name. trying to comfort her I replied back in a soft voice, but that sound that came out of body I guess never made contact with the air around me. She looked at me waiting for me to tell my name. This time though I was loud, and she for a moment silent.

She asked me If I would like to make the payment by Cash/Card?
Yes, this is when the hard reality set in. It was time for me to pay my mobile bill, and walk out, and wait for my next bill so that I could meet her yet again.

The day I met her (Part1)

The time that I had been waiting for had finally arrived. I was all excited in anticipation. Seeing me animated everyone at office sure sensed there was something special about this day. I had a tough time trying to dodge all the questions that kept coming my way all through the day while I was at office. There were already various stories doing the rounds, and I just turned a deaf ear as I was too occupied with just one thought. I kept looking at my watch with desperation as the wait was intriguing. Work no longer seemed important to me, I didn’t know what I was doing as my mind was too occupied.

Today was the day I get to meet her again. It’s been a while since I last met her. 27 days to be precise. I remember the number of days so well, as that was the first time the two of us had spoken. We didn’t speak for long then, may be because it was my first time. I was all scared and sweating, unlike her who was very calm and composed. It’s like it all happened just yesterday, I still remember everything about that day when we spoke first. I guess it would be more appropriate to say the day "She" spoke first. The two of us had met each other on numerous occasions before, but every time the only things that we exchanged were glances. Though I have always wanted to speak to her, I never managed to gather the courage to walk upto her and speak. But last time around, things were different. It was like the heavens had conspired to melt the ice between us, and bring us together. Everything just happened out of the blue that evening.

I had after a lot of pep talk to myself, garnered the courage to walk upto her, but I didn’t know what to speak as I was struggling to stand firm on my feet which was trembling in the just melted ice. My tongue too had fallen cold just like my feet.

Seeing me infront of her, she gently lifted her head and that’s when our eyes met each others for more than a fraction of a minute. She in her elegant best batted her eye lids while I was just not able to take my eyes of her striking eyes that were all appealing in the thick mascara that she applied. Hoping that I would have taken my eyes off her, she looked up again but this time the moment our eyes met, I looked down trying to not make it obvious.

Seeing my discomfort and trying to ease the situation around us, she in her charming voice told me a “Hi!”. I was knocked out of words, as I desperately tried digging deep into my vocabulary so that I could find an apt reply to the most beautiful word that I had ever heard. As her voice kept resonating in my ears, I was lost in the midst of the crowd that surrounded us.

Finally when my mind concluded the most apt reply to what she just said was a “hello!”, her friend just dropped in and pulled her away. I looked helplessly like a young child who was lost in the street. As she was being pulled away by her friend, she reached out her hand towards me as if asking me to hold her back. Our eyes stayed affixed at each other, and very soon I lost sight of her, as she walked away into the crowd.

I did physically walk out of that place that evening, but my thoughts forever lingered around that place. The best moment of my life didn’t last long. But then today the time has come for me to set right things, to put things to prospect. And so I was all excited in anticipation.

Read the Concluding Part

Thought

" If you have the Audacity to take credit for the work that I do, then have the courage to take up the responsibility when something goes wrong! If you cannot, then STOP asking me for help!!!!

HUH!!! I SO Hate such people @ work."

My lucky Number

The number “9” has always been very luck for me. Not jus’ because I was born on the 18th and 18 numerological adds up to number 9. But somehow over the years events have reinforced the thought that indeed the number “9” is very special and luck for me.

And so I have always had this strange intuition that when I turn 27(2+7=9), that year would be the year when some real good things will happen in my life, and I want this year to go down as an eventful year in my life. And so far things have just been perfect.

Early April/May was the time I struck gold, it was a double bonanza at work, and bound by terms of confidentiality I cannot disclose the incident here. And then it was my promotion which really caught me by surprise and my joy knew no bound. And if all that was not enough to keep me in air, today I get a mail asking me to be present for an event in the company happening tomorrow, and when I read the reason why? I was ecstatic. Guess what? I just won the “Best Outstanding Performer of the Year” Award. If you personally ask me the reason, I am sure it is because I have been away (standing outside) from my company for the last one year. The spirit dampener though, I will not be able to make it to event. I tried my luck by mailing my HR Manager and asking her if she could arrange my return tickets to Bangalore for the event. She laughed away at my genuine request. HMMH!!!

I hope and pray this year continues to be a lucky year for me, and my lucky number 9 colludes to bring in more good news along the way.

My moments of joy @ work

Good news that comes completely out of the blue always brings with it a whole lot of excitement and joy. Yesterday was one such day for me, where in I was excited and all elated, but staying in a foreign land I didn’t have anyone with whom I could share my joy right away. And I was getting restless to tell someone. And all I did in that excitement was send a mail to my manager asking if the news was rite!!!

Yesterday was the day I got promoted. My 4^th back to back promotion in less than 5 years. This was something that I NEVER expected, and so that makes me all the more excited. And the feeling is a great one.

Come September 1st, I am officially a team lead. God alone save my team.

Happens only with fazal

A foodie only needs a reason to eat out, and today was one such day where the foodie in me got a reason to have a good time along with friends. We went to a leading restaurant in Bangalore for lunch today. We were 5 of us. We selected our choice of buffet and as were waiting for our food, my other three friends stepped out to wash their hands.

In the mean time, as I and my other friend were chatting the waiter came by with a bottle of mineral water and stood beside my friend. He asked us if he could serve us the water? Trying to be cost conscious I told him very politely that we prefer the “Regular Water.”

The waiter smiled, and walked towards me, making sure the lady seated next to me does not hear what he had to say, he came across to my left, and in a very low tone told me, “Sir, this is complementary.”

I gave him that stupid smile of mine not knowing how to react. But I was sure impressed by his presence of mind, and the extra care he took to make sure he does not belittle me in front of a pretty lady. But it’s a different thing that we laughed our hearts out when I told the incidence to everyone once all were back.