Lessons in life

It was a hot day and I was sitting by the pool and trying to beat the heat. In the meantime a lady came along with her little baby. The baby must have been barely 6-7 months. This I can say with self-assurance cos since the time Aman was born I am aware usually by what age kids to what. So by seeing this tiny tot I knew the kid was around 6-7 months old. Being the person that I am who is very very fond of kids, I kept observing the kid and it was fun to see the kid jumping around in its mom's hand. As I kept watching this lady, she did something which I never ever anticipated.

She got down with her baby into the pool. The baby's face and the expression on its face was a sight to my eyes. The water must have been really freezing for the baby. Within a few seconds the baby was beating its leg in the water and it was sure enjoying the moment.

I ve read about such things being common in the west. But this is the first time I had ever seen such a spectacle. And I was overjoyed by the sheer look on the babies face when it put its feet in the water. And at the same time I was left to reflect.

We in India particularly, I can never imagine an Indian mom doing the same to her baby. I don’t even think any mom will get her baby even close to a swimming pool, let alone get the baby into the water. We in India are generally over protective, we guard kids from the whole lot, and in some ways over the period make them dependent and vulnerable. I am sure this baby that I saw today will know how to swim even before most Indian kids learn to walk steady on their feet.

I am reminded of a anecdote of how a man found a cocoon of a butterfly and he kept watching the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it had and it could go no further. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Trying to draw a parallel analogy, we Indian's in the process of showering extra care towards our kids end up hindering our kid’s growth in the long run.

Just take this for an example.

A kid is running fast, it falls. It's a slight fall. You re there and you see it happen and you also know nothing would ve happened to the kid. But you run to pick the kid and you are all worried. Seeing the worry on your face, the kid starts to cry; also by this time the kid knows crying is the best way to grab attention. And so what you do is, in the process you deny the kid a opportunity to learn. A valuable lesson is gone astray. The kid from this time forth will only cry every time it falls.

Picture this in contrast, the same kid same place; jus that you act as if you ve not seen the kid fall. The kid looks around, and then seeing no one has seen it, gets up and starts to run again. He is happy and continues to run along, and as a parent you should be proud that your kid can live in this fierce world of today.

Life without obstacles would cripple us. Was it not for struggles we would not be as strong as what we could have been.